HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 

This new year was pretty exciting for us because we rang it in with our girl, Logan…. Then, today, we brought home our sweet Rhyann. (Seriously, she’s sweet.) So, the old year ended and the new year began with our sweet girls with us. And, that is just about every drop of perfection I could ever imagine.

And, I can’t believe they are two weeks old. In the moment, I felt that I was in the hospital for forever, I thought the pain would never stop – and, I have a high tolerance. I thought the girls would never come home. And, it’s literally only been two weeks since I delivered, and three since I was admitted into the hospital. I think the saying goes “the days are long, the years are short” and if these two weeks are any indicator of how fast the years will fly by, I’m terrified. It’s amazing how things can change in literally a day. It’s both encouraging and heart breaking at the same time.

Two week in and we’re already starting to see patterns in their personalities, which is pretty neat. Rhyann is calm the majority of the time and she doesn’t need much; all she’ll ask is to be swaddled and fed. That’s it. Little Ms. Logan, on the other hand, is my snuggle bug. She loves to snuggle and would prefer to be in your arms than anywhere else! …. And, she has no problem with letting you know it. She also loves a swaddle and a nice bottle, but if you cuddle her close, you’ve won her over. The girls sleep like champs and are eating much, much better. We have our first doctor’s appointment tomorrow… it’s just a weight check, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m nervous about getting everyone ready and out of the house in time, but I believe if I prepare well enough it will alleviate a lot of stress tomorrow.

See what I mean? Perfect personality capture.

I think this is the second year, I’ve ended my year with a word I want to focus on and center my life around. This year, my word is intentional. It’s so important to me because I saw the gravity of how difficult and broken things can become if we aren’t focused, brave, and thoughtful in everything we do.

One of my friends posted this scripture on Insta today and it was literally just exactly what was needed.
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:14

Now that I’m a mama, what I’m expected and called to do is so very different and much heavier than just anything I’ve ever experienced before aside from being a wife. This calling to mother, to nurture, to lead to Christ, to encourage…. To actively show patience, love, forgiveness, grace, and integrity in a way that I’ve never had to before. I have to treat my girls in a way that teaches them to trust me with everything no matter what and even in my faults and theirs. I have to behave in such a way that shows them Jesus even before they truly understand who He is. I want to love them and respect them in a way that always makes them feel like real people with real thoughts and feelings that matter.. while teaching them the balance of being a child and respecting rules, boundaries, and adults. And, that’s HARD because as adults our thoughts and priorities are so very different than those of a child, but matter just the same. Oh, and the patience. Two babies who tend to be hungry, wet, sleepy, and wanting cuddles at the same time. Two that can’t get anywhere without being carried and depend on you for it all….. takes a lot of patience. Because it’s day one, today has been much easier than I know the coming days will be, but I’m determined to be patient with my girls, especially when they can’t control or fully understand what it happening. (Sidebar: It’s funny how quickly & efficiently you ways to get things done!) Accomplishing these goals, even on the days that I try my best and still fail, require intentional planning and intentionally remaining in the moment, and intentionally staying face to face with Jesus.

I’m forming a list of ways in which I want to truly be intentional…….. and, working to not make the list so long. Probably need to prioritize and schedule some acts, but I also want to work on being intentional in the moment. I get so stinking distracted a lot and sometimes moments pass me by because I’m hesitant or scared or too into my own thoughts to focus. Sometimes it’s fear. Others it’s a time crunch and sometimes it’s just not feeling like it. Have to work on that.

Forgetting (read: {for me} forgiving) and straining – literally working to push ahead – is hard. But, so beneficial. It’s an opportunity to experience newness and growth. Am I afraid? Yes. I am. But, I’m looking forward to what can be. Looking forward to the opportunities that will be. Looking forward to watching my girls grow and experiencing life with them.

If 2015 is going to be anything, it will most definitely be sweet.